Are we addicted to Boris Johnson’s cycle of abuse?
I don’t write this as a political blog. It is just an observation from a woman in her 40’s who has had enough of people complaining about Boris Johnson. I was always a fan of Boris. Not so much because I thought he was particularly good at anything, more because I saw him as a buffoon that I enjoyed watching on the panel show Have I Got News for You. His bumbling Hooray Henry style of communication always made me laugh and brought me back to the good old days of growing up posh. I think the ill-fated stunt on the zip wire, where he was left dangling, legs akimbo whilst clutching two Union Jack flags while he was the Mayor of London, sealed the deal in my head. He was one of Britain’s daft aristocrats that make us adored all over the world. Everyone thinks we are like this, or like the characters from Mary Poppins… of course we know better.
The Dark Side Emerges
As I watched Boris Johnson’s political career evolve from countries far, far away, I started to learn more about the dark side of the lovable buffoon. At the time of writing, It is rumoured that Boris Johnson has up to seven children. He has two children with his current wife Carrie and four children with his wife of twenty-seven years, Marina Wheeler. It is thought that when they married in 1993, she was already pregnant with his first child. Nothing wrong with that you may think. Well apart from that when they married, his divorce from his first wife, Allegra Mostyn-Owen, was only 12 days old. There is one child thought to be born as a result of an extra marital affair with Helen Macintyre.
And this is where we see the Cycle of Abuse begin.
The Stages of Abuse
As a child of parents who did not have a harmonious marriage, you don’t realise that cheating fighting and violence are not normal. You don’t realise that there are families that don’t have this turmoil. You don’t realise that other children and parents are not subject to this cycle of abuse, which can become addictive and, in my case, has left me as a sufferer of Childhood PTSD. The upshot of this condition has left me incapable of having normal romantic relationships in my own life and has also left me struggling with a variety of addictions and mental health issues. I spent nine years of my life as a police constable. In this training I was made aware of the different types of abuse Physical, Mental, Emotional, Sexual and Financial and the cycle that we get trapped in when we fall victim to them. This is why I feel I have to write this article. I see a cycle of abuse here, but this time it is between Boris Johnson and the UK general public and not just with the women who were drawn in by Boris Johnson’s bluster, swagger, promises he will change and one can only assume, an insatiable sexual appetite.
There are 4 stages to the Cycle of Abuse
- Tensions build
- Incident of abuse or violence
- Reconciliation
- Calm
Stage 1 – Tension
Covid 19 Lockdown. These times are unprecedented and no one really knows what to do for the best. I can’t blame Boris for this. I feel he was always reluctant to lock us down and wanted to “stiff upper lip” it and “keep calm and carry on”. (Please feel free to insert your own British stereotype here, especially if it can be referenced back to Johnson’s muse, Sir Winston Churchill.)
Stage 2 – Incident
Partygate. Boris and Carrie upset people, including one Dominic Cummings. We start to see leaks of all kinds of awful behaviour. Awful as deemed by the British public, who were obediently following the rules set out by Boris’ team. Parties were being held by top civil servants, affairs were happening behind closed doors and Covid 19 was running rife through No 10. He had been caught out. The game was up. His secret had been outed. What will be the reconciliation?
Step 3 – Reconciliation
The Sue Gray report is issued. It tells us that Boris lied to our faces. We have uproar from within the Conservative Party, the other political parties and from the British public. This is where I raise my eyebrows and wonder what people expected? I refer you to the start of my blog. Boris has been married three times. He has moved from one marriage to the next as a result of affairs with the women he marries, He has a child out of wedlock with the woman he had an affair with for four years. Do we honestly believe this is the behaviour of an honourable man? The privy council has titled Boris as honourable because we gave him our vote. His behaviour in his private life shows, he has no morals, has no respect for others, has no commitment, most likely lies repeatedly and from recent discussions in parliament and interviews, covers up his indiscretions when asked about them. One can only imagine the cycle of abuse his second wife may have been put through. I wonder if there was the usual pleading of “She meant nothing to me” or “I’ll never do it again”. His second wife is a strong well educated successful woman. In 2018 she had finally had enough and divorced Boris citing his adultery. One doubts he would have gone of his own accord. She got rid of him.
Stage 3 Reconciliation
Energy Windfall Tax The day after what can be construed as lying, cheating, disrespectful work place practices at No.10 were revealed, we were presented with The Windfall Tax. This is the equivalent of the gift that says sorry. This is our bunch of roses that says he won’t do it again. This is the dinner at the fancy restaurant to prove he loves us and that he has learned from his past mistakes. This is the bit we get addicted to. For surely, he must really love us, right? Look what he has done for us.
This is why people experiencing abuse often find it difficult to break free.
We get addicted to the worst lows and the highest highs. The taking away of trust and giving it back to us in a love bomb. “He isn’t that bad really”; we say as we look at the beautiful jewelry, he has bought us. Pushing all those lies and disrespectful abuses to the back of our minds. Or maybe, “Well yeah, they shouldn’t have partied, but it was a while ago, he has stayed with us and is giving us money to help pay our bills.”
Stage 4 – Calm
“Now come on darling, I’ve said sorry, we’ve gone out for a nice dinner, you know I love you, let’s just forget all of this and move on. I promise I will never do it again.” As we snuggle up together and look forward to a life full of love and stability, we believe our cheater has finally learned his lesson This is where we, the British public are right now……
But this where we have to put our foot down and end the relationship. Because I GUARANTEE YOU this is not the end. We are just in a holding pattern. In our honeymoon phase, waiting for Stage 1 to start all over again. The only thing our “abuser” has learned is not to get caught so easily next time; as well as what a push over we are. He hasn’t walked away to work on his morals. He hasn’t admitted true humility and walked away to stop the pain. He has drawn a veil over it. The deceitful behaviour has been covered up, it hasn’t gone anywhere and it will pop up again. Only this time, it will be buried deeper.
Boris Johnson will not step down as leader of the Conservative party. That would mean he would have to admit he did something wrong. Boris will not leave his position without a fight. Are we a pushover? Has he learned how to appease us?
So, do we carry on knowing that our Prime Minister is not perfect but, he is all we have? Do we look at our £450 gift towards our energy bills with rose-tinted vision and believe that he loves us? I mean, aren’t we all busy working two jobs so we can put fuel in our cars and afford groceries?
Or we do we do the difficult thing? Do we say enough abuse is enough? Do we say we deserve to be treated with respect and stop being lied to and cheated on?
If you happen to see your local MP over this beautiful long weekend which will celebrate our Queen’s 70-year reign. (The same Queen who, was made to sit on her own at her darling husband’s funeral while suitcases of wine were being consumed at 10 Downing Street.) Please be brave. Please tell them you have had enough of the abuse, tell them Boris has to go and ask them to act. As I can assure you, he will not leave of his own accord.
We have to take our power back.
It’s time to divorce Boris Johnson
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